There’s this thing that happens sometimes here. And before I tell you, it’s important that you understand that this is not me complaining. I’m actually in an excellent mood as I write this. But the point of this blog is to help my dear readership to understand what it’s like to be in Peace Corps Moldova. And this is an important part of it:
Every once in awhile, randomly, this feeling will smack you in the face like a Monty Python sketch. You’ll be minding your business, maybe reading, maybe whipping up some pasta for dinner, maybe standing in front of 25 kids explaining how fecal matter transmits diseases.
And suddenly your brain starts putting these puzzle pieces together. There’s a giant crack in the floor of the school where you can see the earth below. Normal. There’s are at least 13 insects or arachnids living in your house that you can see easily from sitting on your couch. No big deal. There’s a commotion outside because someone’s pig has escaped. Typical. There’s a pile of congealed, unpasteurized cow’s milk on the table in the kitchen and you’re going to eat it later. What’s wrong with that?
And then the following monologue goes through your head:
Wait…….WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING HERE? I MIGHT AS WELL BE LIVING OUTSIDE, I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I’M EATING, THERE’S INSANE BARNYARD ANIMALS FROLICKING ALL OVER THE PLACE, SOMETIMES COMING INTO MY KITCHEN AND MY JOB IS TO EXPLAIN TO CHILDREN HOW NOT TO SHIT IN THEIR DRINKING WATER AND HAVE SELF ESTEEM. WHERE IS AMERICA? WHERE ARE ALL OF MY ELECTRONICS? WHY DON’T I HAVE A KINDLE? I HAVEN’T EATEN A HAMBURGER IN 6 MONTHS! WHERE IS THE DARK BEER? HOW IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS HOLY DID I END UP IN THE MIDDLE OF EASTERN EUROPE??????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Then, usually, after only a few seconds of thinking these things, something happens that takes my attention away to more practical matters (stopping the pig from running into me freaking house, for one thing) and then I kind of move past it and continue with my day without any issues.
It feels kind of like what I imagine it to be like if you have Alzheimer’s and you’re mostly gone now but occasionally, maybe once a month, you have a brief moment of clarity and you stop in horror and contemplate the complete upside-downness that is your life and you have no choice but to freak the hell out and scream hysterically until the big strapping male nurse comes and sedates you. And as you slip back into unconsciousness, knowing that you won’t remember when you wake up and that you’ll continue going through the motions of your life without a care in the world, you appreciate the beauty and complexity of a life lived so casually when there is really a huge well of shock, confusion, and incomprehensibility bubbling just under the surface, waiting for the next environmental trigger to boil over.
Noapte Buna!
I am still laughing at this one! You are very funny!