Today’s Adventure: You Dance in Circles? Well We Dance in Lines

I taught my kids the electric slide last week as a reward for their good behavior. I wanted to film it but they really didn’t get it together enough to be filmed. The video would have just been me doing it over and over again by myself and hollering, “Come on! It’s not hard! Just try it!” while most of them hung around the edges staring at my feet.

I was surprised – given then they do the hora (traditional circle dance) at every celebration, I imagined they would like line dancing since it’s basically the hora only not in a circle. But it weirded them out.

Then as a last resort (I really wanted them to have a good time since the whole idea was that it was a reward for them) I pulled up the Macarena. And everyone lost their minds.

Moldovan kids love the Macarena. I guess it makes sense since it’s so easy and they can’t understand the words to the song anyway. I was lucky I even had it on my iTunes since I haven’t listened to it since I was about in 4^th grade.

Anyway, I will be giving another class the same reward soon and am hoping to get them trained well enough to maybe film it. Fingers crossed. Noapte Buna!

 

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Today’s Adventure: The Boss is Coming, So Stop Working!

Sometimes, in Moldova, the ministry of education visits schools. I’ve gathered that no matter how small a school you are, you are liable to have at least one to two visits per year. These visits should probably be unannounced but they are not. The school knows when the ministry is coming and they prepare accordingly.

One of the most important things about life in Moldova is keeping up appearances. That means that it’s not actually important what your everyday practices are. What’s important is what the ministry sees when they come. Also important is that your school acts as a good host for the people from the ministry. That means that you should throw a masa (big feast for lunch) and encourage them to drink a lot of wine before they do their job.

This is probably not the case in all schools in Moldova, but it certainly is the case in mine. Starting a few days before the ministry arrives, the kids start getting coached. They know that their good behavior is of the utmost importance, and they will possibly be murdered by their homeroom teacher after the visit if they don’t make the school look good. The teachers want the ministry to think that their students are learning well and are super smart (smarter than all the OTHER schools) so they meet with a classes that the ministry plans to observe and goes through the lesson they will get and gives them all the answers. That way the kids know exactly what to expect and what to say when the ministry is watching. The kids are also made to wear their best outfits when the ministry visits so they are also the most attractive students the ministry has seen that week.  Never underestimate the importance of being attractive in Moldova.

On the day that the ministry visits, leading up to the moment they get there, my experience has often been that one or both my partners will tell me that I have to teach our classes alone that day because they will be in the school kitchen preparing a masa. I sometimes notice other teachers doing the same thing, although for these teachers there is no American who will babysit their classes. They just give the kids something to read and leave them alone.

The teachers then always want to re-arrange all the furniture to make it more frumos (pretty) for the ministry visit, and consequently, if you are working on lesson plans in the teachers’ lounge (like SOME American blog writers I could mention…) you will get yelled at to stop working because the ministry is coming and you need to be helping with all the preparation. They once made me stop working so I could sit at the table with all the food, along with all the other teachers, so that when the ministry walked in we would all be sitting at the table smiling at them like trained dogs. I asked them, “Don’t you think it will look better if the ministry walks in and we are all working hard on lesson planning?” But they just stared at me.

We just has one of these visits this week and I’m hoping it’s the last one this year since it really disrupts things. The thing is, you can’t blame the teachers too much because if the ministry doesn’t like what it sees the school get s a bunch of crap and can also be shut down or lose funding. And the ministry dictates what they want to see, so if they wanted to tell the schools they want to stop seeing obviously fabricated lessons and having a bug feast instead of talking about work, they could. But they don’t. So we continue with the system we have, just trying to keep our soviet-trained heads down and do the best we can with what we’ve got.

Noapte Buna!

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Today’s Adventure: What Have You Been Doing With Your Life In America?

The other day I finished class early so I told my 5^th graders that they could ask me any question they wanted about myself or America and I would answer them honestly. This was quite the gift and they were very excited about it. The questions were as follows:

Kids: How old are you?

Me: 25

Kids: Where are you from in America?

Me: The state of Washington

Kids: DO YOU KNOW BARAK OBAMA????

Me: No. And I live in the STATE of Washington. There is the capital, and that is a city. I live in the state. It’s on the opposite side of the country by the Pacific Ocean.

Kids: Have you seen Miley Cyrus?

Me: No.

Kids: Have you seen Michael Jackson?

Me. No. You know he’s dead, right?

Kids: WHAT????

Me: Yeah he died like 3 years ago.

Kids: Did you know him?

Me: NO.

Kids: Have you seen Justin Beiber?

Me: No.

Kids: If you haven’t seen any of the famous people then what have you been doing your whole life in America?

Me:….I don’t know how to answer that.

(At this point my partner, speaking to some girl in the front row about something, muttered, “Something, something, something, Celine Dion, something.”)

Me: THERE! CELINE DION! I HAVE SEEN CELINE DION!

Kids: Who is that?

Me: (In English) Dammit….

Noapte Buna!

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